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Once he’d blinked the sleep from his eyes, Horatio tilted his head back and smiled when he saw the fuzzy, pink handcuffs circling his wrists. 
“Whoa, didn’t know you were this kinky, Suki, but I’m game,” Horatio said. He tested the cuffs, but the chain looped around the slats of the wrought iron headboard was strong, making escape impossible. 
“Suki? You in here?”
Horatio lifted his head and cringed when he realized the sun peeking through the drapes was illuminating the room, not the bedside table lamp. Had he really slept through until morning? 
“Sorry I dozed off, but I sure as hell am awake now,” Horatio shouted towards the bathroom where he assumed Suki was. “You ready for me, babe? I’m ready for you.”
Silence.
“Hey, Suki! Get back here and let me go. I need to pee!”
Minutes ticked by. Horatio’s bladder ached, and he broke out in a cold sweat. To make matters worse, he remembered Suki’s sexy striptease, the one he’d fallen asleep in the middle of, and his dick rose to half-mast.
“Great. When I piss myself, it’ll shoot straight up like a geyser, and I’ll be covered in urine,” Horatio muttered.
The visual calmed his dick right down, but not his anxiety. Struggling wildly, the headboard banged against the wall in time with Horatio’s racing heart. When all seemed lost, he heard a knock on the door, followed by Snake’s voice.
“You awake, Guitar Slayer? I need you to help me with another mission.” The doorknob jiggled. “It’s locked. You need to let me in.”
 “Kinda tied up right now,” Horatio huffed.
“Okay, then.” Snake sounded confused. “I’ll come back later.”
“No, I mean, I’m literally tied up. Get in here and help me!” 
“I can use vampire magic to open her up, but it’ll scorch the woodwork and then Suki will have my head on a plate,” Snake said.
“Open the fucking door, Snake!”
Horatio heard the door pop open and Snake’s soft footfalls across the carpet before he came into view, surrounded by a hint of smoke. He stopped at the foot of the bed and laughed when he saw Horatio’s current condition.
“Blimey! I’m sure there’s an interesting story to go with all this.” 
“Gotta pee really bad,” Horatio said breathlessly. He jiggled the cuffs. “Can you get these off without setting me on fire?”
Snake scowled. “Of course. You’re not made of wood, now, are you?” He waved a hand over the restraints and they fell away. Horatio jumped out of bed and ran to the toilet, sighing contentedly as he relieved himself. 
“Thanks, vampire, I owe you one,” Horatio shouted over the toilet’s flush. When he walked back to the bedroom, still naked, he found Snake lounging on the bed and twirling the handcuffs around one finger.
“I’m keeping these,” Snake said. “To use on you later.”
“Fine by me, but first, I need to call my band. They’re probably wondering what the fuck happened since I’ve been gone for two days already.” 
With every unsuccessful attempt to call his band mates, Horatio grew more anxious. He paced the room, trying every contact listed, even his hairdresser. 
“You won’t be able to call anyone,” Snake said. “Meridian sealed off the earth gate, remember? Fairly certain I mentioned that.”
Feeling like he might cry, Horatio sat on the bed next to Snake, and ground the heels of his hands into his eyes. “What am I going to do? Should I turn myself in?”
“No,” Snake growled. “Meridian is a madman. We need to find out why he’s after you in the first place, then, we’ll figure out a plan to get you home.”
The way Snake caressed his shoulders calmed Horatio. “Maybe he’s a Monotony fan, and just wants my autograph,” he said hopefully.
 “He sucked you through a portal and dropped you into a jail cell. I think it’s safe to say Meridian wants more than your signature.”
Horatio closed his eyes and leaned into Snake when he switched from rubbing his shoulders to stroking his hair. “But what if he shows up here?”
“I did a superlative job of convincing him that you’re not on my ship. He’s most likely traipsing all over Merona searching for you. Stupid sod.” Snake gave Horatio a peck on the cheek. “Like I told you already, until we get all this sorted, the boys and I will take exceedingly good care of you. But, in the meantime, who’s to say we can’t have a little fun?”
Horatio licked Snake’s earlobe. He smelled delicious, like coffee, vanilla, and sex. “Naked fun? I could go for that right now.”
“As could I, but first, let’s have some fun making tons of cash.” Snake pulled away from Horatio and got off the bed. “Get dressed and I’ll tell you about our next mission.”
Miffed that Snake had rebuked his advances once again, Horatio refused to put clothes on, and instead, laid back against the pillows, trying to appear seductive. Seemingly undaunted, Snake dug through the pile of clothes on Horatio’s dresser.
“How about these?” Snake held up a pair of black leather pants.
“Sure, but don’t I look better in these, invisible pants?” Horatio asked, stroking his cock.
 “Trust me, lad, you don’t want to meet Princess Petal without clothing. She’ll eat you alive.” Snake put the entire stack of clothes on the bed next to Horatio and demanded he pick out something “sexy” to wear. 
“Who is this chick and why do I have to dress up for her?”
Snake explained that Princess Petal was the monarch of a large country called Petulia, and frequently used Snake’s pirating services to help her acquire rare or unusual items.
“This time around, she wants us to fetch some sort of magic crown,” Snake said. “The woman scares me, so I’m bringing you along as bait.”
“Why me?”
“Well, since you’re bi and all, I figured you might be, shall we say, helpful to have along.”
“Oh, you want me to fuck her,” Horatio said as he pulled a royal blue shirt over his head. “Is she hot?”
“Not exactly.”
“Is she nice?”
“She’s a bit daft.”
“How about smart?”
“Not at all.”
Horatio stood up and zipped his pants. “Does she have any redeeming qualities?”
“Really, Horatio, now you turn all picky about where you put your dick? I believe just yesterday I had to rescue you from a Flesh Eater you let suck you off in a toilet.”
“Touché.” After stepping into his boots, Horatio held his arms out. “Sexy enough?”
Instead of replying verbally, Snake picked up the handcuffs and smiled while tucking them into the inside pocket of his long, leather coat. “Let’s get you a spot of breakfast, and t

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